In the beginning of a relationship, it is always difficult to say « I love you » for the first time. Before him, after him? One month after the first date, 3 months after? Do you have to say it first, be the second? And then, how to know what you feel is really Love? Because after all, what is Love? Do we not confuse it with passion, the excitation of the first dates when we believe we have found the perfect partner, without seeing his flaws?
And then we should not scare the guy by moving too fast… You may lose him for good!
For a girl, I will advise – in most cases – that you wait for the first « I love you » from your partner to let him space and time to grow his own feelings hassle-free. It’s not being a coward, but be sure about what you are feeling and give him time.
In fact, a study done by Yougov for Meeting France reveals that couples wait on average two months and a half before declaring their love. And for the other couples:
- 8% say it very early;
- 16% wait at least a week;
- 7% wait one year.
Us girls, we have a bit of a tendency to move too fast, to imagine a lot of stuff in regards of our childhood full of Disney cartoons, Briget Jones and fairy tales… We are waiting for true love at first sight.
Let time be your friend and let your true feelings appear.
Besides, Life can be a bit complex! Even if you think you have found Mr Right, he might be in a relationship, he could leave the country very soon, he may be newly divorced… Sometimes, timing is not with us and you have to let him go… because you know, you can’t reasonably build something great with this person.
Our own past, his own past, can create a perfect illusion of your burgeoning relationship… or on the contrary, you can be blind in front of Love because you are afraid and hidden behind your fortress, built year by year, on broken-heart stories.
You are the only one to know what your heart is feeling right now and when will be the right moment. However, I will give you some advice to guide you, but remember you are the only one to decide!
Situation n°1: Your Partner is Still Suffering From His Past
If your partner has suffered a lot from his past relationships, he is afraid of his feelings for you, don’t say it before him… But instead, make him understand your feelings through your loving thoughts, your gaze, your caresses, when you kiss him and make love, through your actions. Even if you don’t say it, he should feel slowly your love and his behaviour should change with time. Your unspoken love for him will become natural and he will pronounce these famous words you are dying to hear from him. Don’t rush it!
Situation n°2: Your Partner Is Alone For A While Now
We can have the inverse situation where the partner has lived alone for a while and he is finally happy to find someone to fill the hole in his heart. At first sight, you are already the love of his life, the perfect woman!
Careful ladies, he doesn’t love you, he is in love with your illusion. Only his fear of loneliness is talking. Here follow your intuition, your 6th sense, to discover who is really your partner and to know what you are feeling for him. In this relationship, you have to analyse the situation, your feelings and his own, to avoid disappointment in a near future, even if Love is about taking risks after all.
Situation n°3: You Are Still Suffering From Your Past
This situation is where yourself suffered enormously from your past relationships and you really trust no one. Too much trust in the past, hurt you. You are now fearful and suspicious. You seem cold, distant because your shell is made of a tempered steel, almost impossible to pierce for your new boyfriend or girlfriend… Here, you need to make peace with yourself, heal and let go all your negative feelings. Beginning a new relationship without being happy with yourself it’s never a good foundation to build a happy relationship. Your partner will reproach you sooner or later your coldness and not having enough feelings for him. Don’t say « I love you » but instead, rebuild yourself first.
Situation n°4: After Several Months, He Didn’t Tell You
In this situation, your partner never told you the famous « I love you » since the beginning of your relationship, let’s say, several months ago. Now, you are not sure of what he can feel for you and you are confused about your relationship. Here, you have to take control of the situation. Apparently, he is not the captain of your relationship and very soon, your couple will sink.
No pain, no gain, ladies. Take courage and create a special moment to tell him what you are really feeling. Say to him, the famous « I love you ». If he doesn’t tell you in return, no need to waste time on this relationship, with a man who doesn’t love you or doesn’t love himself.
Or, on the contrary, your courageous act can help your partner to know exactly what you feel and say to you, right away, « I love you », without hesitation. He was confused about your feelings and he was waiting for a gesture from your part to be sure about your future together.
So if after several months, he never says it, take control of the situation and don’t hesitate to tell him first what you really feel….
Situation n°5: You Are Both Ready
The perfect situation, you are both ready to say it and you mean it. Here you must follow the rhythm of your relationship. You have to be certain of your feelings before saying it then give you at least 1 month… sometimes, at first sight, we immediately know that he is the man of your life but we want to wait in order to create a magical moment… Make of this moment, an intense one!
To conclude, I will advise you to follow your heart and not your fears, your illusions of what should be Love. Love is just Love. Every day, you have to connect yourself and be true… You must connect with your partner and never cut your spiritual bond between you. Because this bond is what we call love. When this bond becomes strong with time, you are ready to say « I LOVE YOU »!